Recap of the Weekend or 7-2 is better than Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan

The Dawgs had Homecoming on Saturday and welcomed the New Mexico State Aggies into the formerly friendly confines of Sanford Stadium. I say "formerly friendly" because Mark Richt used to take his foot off the gas once we were up by 21 points on a cupcake teams, but it was not so on this day. Evil Richt does not do such things. Evil Richt throws in the 4th quarter. Evil Richt runs double reverses. Evil Richt suspends players when its convenient......I like me some Evil Richt. The score was 63-16 and we dominated the outmatched New Mexicans on both sides of the ball, like we did the old Mexicans in 1845 when we decided that Texas, California, Arizona and others needed to be in little States club.

The pregame was the highlight of the day. Everybody is in a good mood on Homecoming Weekend. They played highlights of last week's victory over Florida, causing the crowd to go nuts before the band could spell "G-E-O-R-G-I-A." Richard Samuel came out for the captain's toss on crutches. When they announced his name, the crowd went crazy. I got a lump in my throat. A young man from Cassville had 92,000 stand up in unison and scream their heads off. I could not have asked for a better moment....... unless Erk Russell suddenly appeared and headbutted somebody. They probably would have had to haul me off on a stretcher at that point and Vinny would have dipped a log of Copenhagen in twelve seconds. God bless Coach Russell, he was a man's man.

It started out kind of slow, we looked a little sluggish on defense. They completed some passes, a couple of fakes worked and our guys weren't reacting too well. Offensively, we sputtered around, fumbled the ball away and I thought, "Oh great, one of THESE games." I am sure the unbelievable cold did not help. The wind was blowing about 25 miles per hour, lowering the temperature to about -47 and causing Vinny and I to declare this game "the most miserable clear day ever." Then, at about 7:45 in the first quarter, the offense got going and by "going" I mean completely annihilating New Mexico State's defense. We haven't seen firepower like this since August 1945, when Little Boy was dropped on Hiroshima. Our "Little Boy" was Brandon Harton, a 5'6 walkon running back from tiny Reidsville, Georgia. Reidsville is known for two things: the Georgia State Prison and now, Brandon Harton. This mighty mite ran all over NMSU all day long, grinding out tough yards, breaking long runs, blocking, and basically fulfilling his lifelong dream of playing ball at UGA. I will ALWAYS be a Brandon Harton fan. Harton ran for over 100 yards on this day. Freshman Chris Conley continues to show that he is destined for greatness, catching a touchdown striding down the Georgia sideline like a 6'4 gazelle and having over 120 yards on the day. Branden Smith, Brandon Boykin, Rhett McGowan, Michael Bennett, Aron White, Orson Charles and Kyle Karempelis all found the end zone on Saturday. Karempelis exacted cheers from the student section when he ran onto the field. "The Greek Streak" looked sharp out there. The only thing he could've done to complete the day was to spray Windex on a fallen NMSU defender (+1 for My Big Fat Greek Wedding reference)

The defense allowed some yards but honestly, NMSU never really threatened us at all. Big John Jenkins, Jones, Geathers and Tyson have the middle closed off and Jarvis and Alec Ogletree are hunting heads like New Guinea cannibals on a stranded cruise ship. They popped NMSU's quarterback several times and I actually felt sorry for him. Some of his throws were sidearmed dying quails that landed in the hedges, I swear, three guys from south Georgia sitting near me pulled out 12 gauges and took aim. When I asked how they were able to bring guns, they just announced their yearly donation to me. Money talks. Apparently, the hedges were also a magnet for aviation minded UGA players, namely Aron White and Tavarres King. Hell, Tavarres completely disappeared in the south end zone hedge after a missed pass. Vinny said, "Hell, that damn hedge ate him. Get McGowan in there." King emerged unharmed, and McGowan had to wait til the second half to get his PT. McGowan is another northwest Georgian, a Calhoun boy, near and dear to the heart of yours truly, and I will always be a Rhett McGowan fan. White hurdled a xylophone and some cymbals into the same hedge right before halftime, causing the band to have a collective heart attack. Not because Aron could have been hurt, but the thought of buying another brand new Zildjian crash was just beyond them.

It was essentially an uneventful day for the Dawgs, which is a welcome sight if you ask me. I don't like eventful patsy games, when the nobody bucks up and we play half assed and let them hang around. We lost to Southern Miss that way in 1996. UAB almost got us in 2003. Middle Tennessee was in doubt until the 4th quarter in 2004 as was Troy in 2007. You leave the game with a bad taste in your mouth, when it should have been a day of high fives, free flowing libations, and post game Little Italy. Then the fratmosphere gets thick downtown and everybody has a great time. The "fratmosphere" consists of the 19-21 year olds with combed over hair, unnecessarily large pickup trucks, Daddy's credit cards, and a outward love of Johnny Cash (and an inward love of techno, don't lie) No, on those bad days, you just get a Wendy's double stack, sit in your house with flat Miller High Life and mope while you watch the late Washington State-Idaho game, with guys named Wisnewski and Fuaala-H'aaio running the wishbone until you want to gouge your eyes out. Thankfully, I did not have to endure that madness on Saturday.

What I did endure was one of the closest defensive struggles of my lifetime. The Game of the Century was the grudge match I expected it to be. I predicted the score at work this week: 6-3 Alabama with a last second field goal. What an unbelievable performance by both squads, my Dad and I predict that 85% of the starting lineups for each team would be in the NFL. The speed was unreal. The offenses simply could not afford take chances because when they did, they usually turned it over. Jarrett Lee and McCarron were exposed slightly, as neither seemed to be able to make the big throw, even with superb protection. Trent Richardson gained some yards but never really damaged LSU, and Ware did not damage Bama either. Marquis Maze and Reuben Randle, normally good for a big play or two, were bottled up most of the night. There was a lot of jawing, big hits and emotion in this game. When Bama's defense got a penalty in the first quarter to prolong a LSU drive, Nick Saban killed three walkons and gave Kirby Smart such an evil look, that Kirby's milk spoiled in his fridge back home. In contrast, I saw LSU get a stupid penalty and they panned over to Les Miles, who was staring into space with a clueless grin on his face. I knew what he was thinking...."Yep, Tony Chachere's IS better on chicken than Tabasco." I can't help but like the guy, though. What a game. It was the national championship if you ask me. I've seen Boise State firsthand and they would have no shot at either of these teams.

Speaking of shots, my Dawgs now have one. We lead the East and I speak for the Dawgnation when I say.....wooooooooo Pig Sooie!!!!!!! I've never thanked a pig before, unless I was at the Waffle House and bacon was laid before me, but I digress......thank you Arkansas. The newly elitist South Carolina fanbase has fallen silent for the time being. I'm not used to South Carolina people speaking to me as if we were an also-ran, "oh, you guys should beat Kentucky and hopefully get to the Capital One Bowl, we're really pulling for you." I puke in my mouth just thinking about that condescending jab I heard in the elevator of the courthouse last week. Of course, not all Carolina people are this way, it's the Johnny Come Lately bunch, as always. We just have to hold on and beat Auburn and Kentucky, for the love of Herschel Walker. If you asked me a month ago if we had a prayer of making it to Atlanta, I would have said, "yeah, if we took a damn field trip to the Varsity after beating Tech." We'd look so cute in our little paper hats.

No, this is real. We could very well face LSU, Bama or Arkansas in the Dome. All three are tough, battle tested and play in the best division (right now) in college football. They are big, fast, strong, and determined. But you know what? SO ARE WE. I am so sick and tired of hearing about how we don't have a prayer, the East shouldn't even show up, blah blah blah. Football is a funny game. The ball bounces one way or another, Lady Luck gets a random text from The Man Upstairs telling her that rent is due, she gets mad and here we go. Plus, I've got Chuck Norris on board now, so roundhouse kicks to the throat are forthcoming. Chuck Norris eats Honey Badger sliders for breakfast. If, and that's a big if, we make it to the Dome, I will be there. Auburn is our biggest roadblock, and they have been a roadblock for UGA too many times. In fact, Auburn has been the overbearing State Trooper with an ax to grind that puts you in jail for failing to use a turn signal. Nonetheless, Auburn is my favorite SEC game that we play every year. It's always a good game and this year, we will be looking for some payback. I'm calling it right now....Dawgs 31 Agbarn WarPlainTigersmen Eagles 13.

Other Highlights...

1) Did I mention Arkansas beat Carolina? Repetition is the key to memorization. Arkansas rocks. The best state for duck hunting and Gamecock stuffing in the Union, I'm telling you.

2) In a bit of shocking news, Kim Kardashian is dumping Kris Humphries. In making a list of "Things I Give a Damn About," this was 3,456th. It was right between "the lint in my sweatpants" and "one of my pens at the office is drying out, but I can't remember which one it is." Snore.

3)  Justin Beiber debuts a rap Christmas album, then is instantly hit with a paternity suit. Justin, just buy a Viking helmet and a big clock necklace and wear them all day, then nobody will care how many illegitimate kids you have.

4) Welcome to the SEC, St. Louis television market! Oh....I mean, Missouri. My bad. :-/

5) Much ado has been made about Mark Richt's suspension of our three running backs, post Florida. Of course, the public crucifies him and the outcry was that Richt withheld the results until the game was over. "What about his faith? What about his values?" our rivals wondered aloud. The facts came out and it was clear that Richt did NOT withhold anything. Even if he did, remember this: this man is fighting for his job. He has made a home in Athens, his parents moved to Athens, his wife and kids are in Athens, and lastly, his legacy resides in Athens. Secondly, while Richt is outward about his faith, he does not publicly condemn anyone for not sharing it with him. The jabs and the hypocrisy accusations are completely out of line. A Florida loss would likely have resulted in the loss of his job. Which means he would have to find a new job, move, uproot his family and all he has worked for in the last 10 years. This win probably saved his career and his decision to play Crowell, positive test or not, was a huge one for Georgia and for his livelihood. Any of us would have done the same to save our careers and our families from being uprooted. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar or they are smoking sticky-icky from the same left handed cigarette our running backs did.

Go Dawgs.