I suppose y'all are aware of the current weather situation we are facing here in NYC. Fear not, my fellow Georgians. After dealing with 6,743 tornadoes, a blizzard, hurricanes coming out of the Gulf and people from Cassville/Adairsville/Pine Log all my life, I'm basically prepared for anything. I have canned goods, water, flashlights, candles, charged Ipads with 11,298 songs and two bottles of Gentleman Jack. In fact, I've already been singing tributes to our fair maiden approaching from the South, as her winds pick up on my street.
"Sandy, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be"
"Sandy, Sandy...when will those clouds disappear?"
"Sandy, what you gonna do, I think I could stay with you"
I always felt like tornadoes were much worse, to be honest. They are much more unpredictable and their power, while short-lived, is concentrated insanity. In the South, tornadoes are part of life. Every March and April, you have to watch the skies. If you recorded movies off the television in the 90's, I guarantee that at least half of them had a tornado warning running across the bottom of the screen. I'll never forget listening to the radio during power outages, usually 102.3 out of Rome:
"Alright y'all, we got us a report of a touchdown in the Chulio Road area, everybody down yonder needs to take cover."
We knew that it was time to go into hiding. That area was directly in line with Cassville and the whole family would pile up in a closet and hope it wasn't our turn. Honestly, that is all you can do. We did it so many times in the 90's that it became like clockwork. I would trot down the hall, "walking the mile, walking the mile." (+1 for Green Mile reference) Tornadoes get shortchanged in terms of weather notoriety, though. Why? They don't have names. Every hurricane and tropical storm gets a handle. In fact, there have been people who have complained that the names of these storms are not ethnic enough. Seriously, google it. If you have time to bitch about the racial indifference of the names of a large collection of cumulonimbus clouds in the Atlantic Ocean, then you need a hobby or need to get hit over the head by a tack hammer, because you are a moron. (+1 for Tommy Boy reference) I started naming tornadoes in 1994. No longer would I stand by and allow this injustice to permeate Southern culture. Of course, I keep them Cassville-centric in name and nature.
"You think that tornado was bad? Y'all should have seen Shane in June or Chastity in May, them storms were rough, y'all. I swear, when Dwayne blew through here last August, I thought for sure we would be getting a new deck."
I am going to ride this storm out in style. However, I know Sandy is serious for one reason, and one reason only.....Jim Cantore is here. He reported from Battery Park last night and I swear I saw drool coming out of his mouth when he described the possible damage she is going to do. Jim Cantore is the homing beacon of bad weather and when he comes to your hometown, you know bad things are about to happen. He was in Georgia last April when the tornadoes decimated parts of Bartow County. He was in Alabama. He was in New Orleans. When the Apocalypse comes, Jim Cantore will be there, telling Satan to get out of his shot of the rivers running red and the frogs raining down from the sky.
Speaking of hurricanes, Category 5 Hurricane Jarvis blew into Jacksonville, Florida last Saturday with a vengeance. He laid waste to the Florida Gators, causing havoc and mayhem, doing damage and left the landscape completely flattened in a three hour assault of epic proportions. This storm was completely unexpected by the white trash Gainesville natives and their double wides floated down the St. John's River, along with their perfect season, their dignity, half of Jeff Driskel's brain cells, and Will Muschamp's medulla oblongata, which fell out after six post game aneurysms. Few wins have been more enjoyable. Few times have I wished harm upon opposing players more than on Saturday. Luckily, our boys obliged my bloodthirst and came at Florida unlike I had ever seen before, at least defensively.
We set the tone early, when Kosta "The Greek Streak II" Vavlas waylaid their kickoff return man on the first play. You could tell we were fired up. Florida instantly got a false start penalty, had a bad snap and went three and out. We get the ball and march right down their throats and score on a great run by Gurley. I thought to myself, "could we actually do this?" Then I remembered all the big games we had lost in the last four years and tempered myself. I remembered the beating we took from Bama in 2008. The 6-7 2010 season. Getting killed by LSU in the SEC Championship after leading at the half. We are preordained to lose this one. As Florida marched right down the field, my suspicions got confirmed with each first down. Driskel, while erratic, was doing pretty well against us and I thought, "here we go again." We force a fourth and one, however, on our 21 yard line. The Gators line up to go for it and you can tell this is one of those plays that can define a game. I just knew they would bust a 10 yarder and break our backs right there....
Shawn Williams. That name will ring forever if this season turns out to be a great one. He took the reigns earlier this week and called the defense out for being "soft." In a public interview, he lambasted our own people, some by name and others were implied. He even threw a verbal jab at the coaches for playing the wrong people. He is a senior from Damascus, Georgia with nothing to lose, so why not? Nothing he said was false. Nothing he said was embellished. All you had to do was look at our performance against Carolina and Kentucky to verify it. Well, apparently Shawn Williams struck a nerve. A big one. Not just with the entire defense, but with himself as well. On the fourth and one, Florida sweeps to the left and pitches to a receiver entrusted with the ball to get that one yard. As the play develops, you could see his hole. "Oh damn, he's going to get exactly one yard and keep this drive alive," I thought. The blockers were in place and he was headed to the marker. Suddenly, Shawn Williams shucks his blocker and darts right up to their receiver, grabs him around the neck and tackles him so violently that the Florida trainers spent the next five minutes wrapping his ribs in dressing, apparently some of them were broken. He was one inch short. He was also out for the game and another Florida lineman limped off the field on the same play. I watched the kids from the same dirt roads that I grew up on...kids from Damascus, Columbus, Keysville, Donalsonville, and Valdosta running off the field, telling Florida, "this ain't the 90's anymore." (I just got a chill typing this) Will Muschamp had a mini stroke on the sidelines and they looked panicked. Ripe for the picking.
Aaron Murray tried his best to give the game away in the first half. The defense was killing Florida, absolutely bullying them into early submission. They could do nothing. Luckily for them, #11 was playing another one of his "deer in the headlights" games and keeping them alive. Three interceptions in the first half. All terrible throws, all markers of Murray choking to death in the spotlight once again. He was 0-6 against top ten teams going into Saturday and this day was looking no different. The pass to Jay Rome was into triple coverage. The pass to Wooten was thrown 100 mph behind him. The other pass to Brown was so far over his head that the Marines launched a Harrier Jet and flew over the Stadium to assess any threats to public safety. Thank God for Todd Gurley and the offensive line, who played amazingly all night. The fact this game was even close is ALL on Murray and some ill-timed drops by the receivers. I fully expected Shawn Williams to walk up to Aaron, bite his head off ala Ozzy Osbourne, and tell Hutson Mason to go in.
Despite the colossal failures of Murray, we still led. Driskel was getting pounded. They fumbled time and time again. Their offensive line was mauled by our defense. Rambo and Swann had huge interceptions. We had some serious fire tonight. Devin Bowman got called for a stupid personal foul and was met on the sidelines by Todd Grantham. I have rarely seen an ass chewing more animated, more frightening and more motivational than that one. Although I have questioned Richt's fire, I have never questioned Grantham's. In fact, the pregame brouhaha that CBS reported before kickoff? Grantham was going after their strength coach. I love that man. The players love him too because they know he will back them up, regardless of anything. Every challenge issued by Florida was met with force. Guys were making plays all over the field. Branden Smith, Garrison Smith and Mike Gilliard all had great performances. Jenkins and Geathers swallowed the middle whole and their rinky dink Wildcat plays were useless. Herrera and Jones teed off on Gillislee. Jordan Reed was the only Gator who was hurting us. He just kept making big catches.
In the fourth quarter, leading 10-9, I assessed the possibility of victory. Neither offense could get out of their own way. Our defense was much better than theirs. Their kicker was better than ours though. I felt sick. 12-10 Gators would just suck beyond all belief. Marshall Morgan is about as dependable as a fence built out of pool noodles. He did make one, but missed an easy one late in the game. I fully expected Shawn Williams to bitehis head off, bury him in a swamp in Kingsland, Georgia after the game and tell Jamie Lindley to kick for the rest of the season. Fortunately for us, Murray stopped making mistakes. He did not take over the game but he stopped killing us. 150 yards passing is not blowing anybody's skirt up. With 8:30 to go, Murray starts finding open men. To his defense, King, Brown and Lynch had big drops earlier. King especially was bad, he was WIDE OPEN on a third down and just flat dropped it and forced a punt. Malcom Mitchell made a catch on Purifoy, Florida's best and most talkative cover man. It was Purifoy that conned Bowman into his stupid penalty. Once again, he gets one of our guys to get emotional and the flag comes out. Mitchell costs us 15 yards and negates his gain on the play. I thought Shawn Williams was going to bite his head off, quarter him and send him to the four corners of Georgia as a warning to others. (+1 for Braveheart reference)
With 7:11 to go, Murray takes the snap and drops back and finds Mitchell, fresh off his ass chewing from Richt and Williams, who catches the ball. He spins out of Purifoy's grasp and sprints down the sideline. The Florida secondary closes the angles but Malcolm cuts to the middle, breaks two tackles, and finds the end zone for the game's second touchdown. It was one of the best plays of the season. The game is not over, but we were feeling pretty good. By "we" I mean the wonderful people I watched the game with, my family and friends from Cartersville, Georgia. I made an improptu trip to Cassville and got to watch the game with them. These are the people with who I have enjoyed the good times and suffered through the bad in terms of Georgia football. It was a celebration on Burnt Hickory Road. There was talk of jumping in a nearby creek. I volunteered to lead the way...I miss creeks.
Anyhow, Florida gets the ball with us leading 17-9. They are just simply inept with the ball. Driskel is feeling the pounding he had taken all game. Jarvis Jones had been all over him. Cornelius Washington, Alec Ogletree, Christian Robinson and the linebacking corps really closed the middle of the field. On this drive, they are gaining yards and getting too close. Gillislee finally gets a decent run. Driskel picks up a first down on a run that was slower developing than Auburn's math department. They creep into our territory and my nerves are frayed. Please God, no overtime. They pan into the stands and show the Florida "faithful" chomping away. I use "faithful" in quotes because they absolutely disappear when things go wrong for the Gators. No fanbase has a more selective memory than Florida. No fanbase backs out quicker than Florida. (except for the alumni, the Florida alums I know are very respectable people and diehards) When Jordan Reed catches the pass on the twelve and breaks the tackle, I just cringe. He is on the three and inexplicably jumps toward the end zone, as he flies through the air, Jarvis Jones tomahawks the ball right out of his hands and he fumbles into the end zone. Sanders Commings falls on the ball. The deal is sealed. One more perfect season goes own the tubes and it's not us circling the drain for a change.Gurley fittingly closed Florida out with a 16 yard run, dragging three tacklers and setting our bench off into a frenzy.
So, here we are. We won a big game. I'm ecstatic over this victory and I'm eating crow right now with a side of hot sauce, It does not change my feelings about Richt completely, but apparently we CAN come alive and we CAN beat somebody worth beating. Will this lead to anything? Who knows? We must handle business against Ole Miss and Auburn in order to get back to Atlanta. This will take sustained intensity, which we have not been able to muster in awhile. I fully expect us to be in Atlanta, however. As a diehard, I cannot be any other way. I also fully expect to see Alabama there, so we MUST be at our best or it will be ugly. If we somehow get to Atlanta and pull off the impossible, I fully expect Shawn Williams to get the game ball regardless of anything or anyone. Take solace, though, Mr. Williams, because no matter what happens, I'm naming my next tornado after you. Go Dawgs!
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