Careful Optimism, 90's blues and my plea to the Dawgs

Well, folks, it has finally arrived. All my years on this Earth and and never have I been able to experience this special time. It is something you dream about, something you yearn for and when it does not happen, once again, you feel yourself dejected and saying "wait til next year." As for the lucky few who have tasted the water from the Holy Grail (+1 for Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade), I am jealous and want to be in the club. I'm like Smalls in "The Sandlot," I am in the treehouse with everybody but I don't know how to make a Smore. I'm like Aerosmith, I've been on the cusp of greatness, but just cannot quite break through. I'm like Keanu Reeves, I've been successful, but nobody takes me seriously. Well, that time has finally drawn nigh. No longer are we waiting in line and hoping for a shot. No more will we wait in the shadows and praying others will fail. I'm talking about the Black Friday sale at Bloomingdale's, of course. God help the person who cuts me off on the way to the Yves St. Laurent display in the men's cologne section, somebody is gonna lose an arm. Somebody asked me, "what is Black Friday like in New York?" I simply replied, "Dogs and cats...... living together!! Mass hysteria!" (+1 for Ghostbusters reference) It is disgusting.

No. My Dawgs are in control of their own destiny. We are like Alicia Silverstone after making "Clueless" or Michael Keaton after he made "Batman," we have the world at our fingertips, all we have to do is step up and take it. So, are we going to do it? Or are we going to disappear inexplicably like those people did? Seriously, Silverstone and Keaton were poised to be Hollywood mainstays and absolutely faded from existence in the 90's. You know it's bad when you have to post a picture of yourself regurgitating food into your baby's mouth for attention. I guess Michael Keaton will have to pull a Honey Badger....attack and eat a cobra's head off...to one-up that little stunt.

The game this weekend is the biggest home game that we have had in 30 years. Playing our arch-rival, on ESPN, while both teams are peaking. Well, I guess Georgia Tech can be considered "peaking," you do not get much lower than losing by 14 points at home to Middle Tennessee State. Yet, I am nervous. We have choked away games in the past to lesser opponents. Let's face it, nothing would make Tech happier than to ruin our shot at the BCS National Championship. The younger generation of Dawg fans do not consider Tech a rival anymore, considering that Richt is 10-1 against them and they have only beaten us once, fair and square, in the last twenty years. However, truth be told, they did beat us three years in a row in the late 90's, illegal players or not. I can say that losing to Tech is the most despicable and awful experience I have ever had as a Dawg fan. Nothing can prepare you for the unbridled jaw-jacking, Chicken Little-turned-Incredible Hulk attitude of the Tech fanbase after a win over us. In fact, there are only a few things in life that depressed me more than a loss to Tech:

1) Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski breaking up on Prom Night because of her fling with Jeff, the new manager of The Max. Oh Jeff, how I hated you;

2) Cadbury Creme Eggs only existing in the United States during Easter;

3) The disappearance of Surge, the Coca-Cola drink that contained 12,876 grams of sugar;

4) The deaths of the lead singers of the Spin Doctors, Blind Melon and Sublime;

5) Side-spiking, Trapper Keepers and jean jackets were no longer cool.

Their fans screamed "To Hell With Georgia" during our alma mater and their players ripped apart our hedges after their 1998 victory. Then, in 1999, we had the phantom fumble. You would have thought that Tech singlehandedly ended Communism after that win. Another year of listening to smack talk from our in-state rivals from the ACC (Almost Competitive Conference). Believe me, it is a Hell that you do not want to endure. I would rather lose to Florida, Tennessee and Auburn every year. (oh wait, that was the 90's)

I have been thinking about the 90's frequently in the last few weeks. Being a Dawg fan was fun, but it was TOUGH. I remember losing to Southern Miss in 1996. Jim Donnan's first game. Some guy named Brett Favre ran all over the field, throwing impossible passes and sending us back to the locker room with an 11-7 loss. I remember Florida murdering us in Sanford Stadium in 1995 and Spurrier just smirking all game long. Tennessee reeling off nine straight wins, they could have beaten us with Jim Bob Cooter as their starter. (yes, he is a real person and he really played for Tennessee, google him) Vandy beat us at Homecoming in 1994, prompting my Dad to do the unthinkable with nine minutes to go in the fourth...."boys, pack it up because this train is going back to Cassville." Lots of 6-6 and 7-5 years, mediocrity and irrelevance. I also remember the good times. Beating Alabama at home in 1990 on a last second two-point conversion. The four-overtime victory over Auburn in 1996. The beating we gave the Gators in 1997. I will never forget Robert Edwards breaking for that first touchdown, running toward the St. John's River. You could feel the momentum as our sideline erupted. It was those moments that keep you coming back. No matter how angry they would make you, no matter how frustrating it was to watch us stumble week after week, we still packed up that blue and gold Chevy van and headed east out of Cassville at least 3 times every Fall. (I would sit in the back with my Walkman, my Collective Soul CD playing "Shine" over and over, admiring my thirteenth pair of Air Jordans and my tightrolled acid-washed Jordaches.)

We were diehards and still are to this day. I know plenty of people who hop from bandwagon to bandwagon. People who probably would have cheered for Japan in World War Two until the Navy crushed them at Midway and the Marines took Guadalcanal. It must be a tough life to be a turncoat but there are plenty out there. I guess that is the essence of human nature, it's easier to be part of a winner than to struggle with loss and hope to win. Seriously, how many random Texas Tech fans do you know? Now think of Alabama in the last four years, their "fanbase" in Georgia is coming out of the woodwork faster than Keith Marshall's forty time. I sure as hell do not remember them back in 2003, when Bama was at a low point, losing 30-0 at halftime in Athens with a terrible quarterback and a hopeless coach. They were either wearing Red and Black during their Georgia phase or still had not quite given up on Tennessee or Florida State. In any event, I have zero respect for that mindset. Loyalty obviously can be bought with wins, but I'd rather stick by my people. It would be like somebody asking me what my hometown is and I replied, "New York City." Yes, more interesting and important things have happened here. More influential and famous people have lived here. There is more money, more options, and more culture but there is no way, on God's green Earth, that I would ever turn my back on Cassville.

So begins the biggest triumvirate of games for us since Florida-Tech-Notre Dame in 1980. If we make it by Tech, we will likely meet Alabama for the SEC championship with the BCS title shot on the line. Alabama has to beat Auburn this weekend to lock in their spot. The likelihood of an upset here is about as minute as ant dandruff. In fact, only five things are less likely than Auburn defeating Alabama:

1) The Israelis and the Palestinians get together, Netanhayu says, "let's hug it out, bitch" and the Gaza Strip fighting ends forever (+1 for Entourage reference);

2) Tim Tebow leads the Jets to the Super Bowl and wins it, starts dating Eva Longoria and renames his dog "Mark Sanchez"

3) Mary Kate Olsen brings back slap bracelets as a fashion, breaks her wrist demonstrating their uselfulness, thereby igniting a campaign "PAFCSWATUTDHL." People Against Former Child Stars With Anorexia Who Used To Date Heath Ledger.

4) Rural Southerners all look at each other and say, "You know, Mountain Dew has way too much sugar."

5) An Irishman drinks a Budweiser and says, "Ahhhh, that's what Willis was talkin' bout!"

I hope the Dawgs are ready for the Crimson juggernaut because that is what we will see. A strong running game, tough defense and a cutthroat coach who I'm convinced, pulled a Robert Johnson and sold his soul to the Devil on a dirt road in Mississippi. It will be a bloodbath and if we come out on top, then we will have reached the pinnacle. Until then, I am hushing about it all and keeping a quiet optimism. An optimism that I have not felt in my lifetime and one that I hope to feel again in the future. So, let's do it, Dawgs. Do it for yourselves. Do it for your parents, your coaches and your classmates. Do it for your hometown and your state. Do it for all the naysayers. Hush them forever. And lastly, for all us loyalists...those of us who have remained...those of us who came back no matter how grim it may have been. Those of us who lived for Saturdays in Athens or vicariously through Larry on AM 750 when we could not make it to the game. Do it for me and my brother, throwing the football on Hull Street in our Bugle Boys, re-enacting "Run Lindsay Run." For my folks. For Don and Cheryl, Todd and Michelle, Lynn and Chris, Tom and Lori...and all the other Bartow County diehards. For Jeremy, Vinny and Jemel...may our gameday text message train continue to Miami. And if we are on the grand stage in the end and Sugar falls from the Sky......I know it will be Larry and Lewis pouring it on us and oh, how sweet it will be.

Recap of the Weekend: Irony, Auburn is Terrible and SEC East Champs, Baby

Irony is a very interesting concept because it exists everywhere. The physical world, people's emotions, states of mind, religion, politics, families, food, sports, Walking Dead Season 3, Auburn "graduation rates,"gluten free pizza....you name it, irony has its place somewhere within that framework. Authors have written entire novels based upon it. Plays have been acted out for the sole reason to illustrate the subject. People attend Georgia Tech on purpose to continue its existence. Irony can be very funny.

Junior Rosegreen wore #4 for the Auburn Tigers from 2001-2004. Ironically, that number was also his score on the famous Wonderlic test, which measures intelligence amongst NFL draftees. Just for a comparison, the highest score ever recorded was a 48 by Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Buffalo Bills. Congratulations Junior, you have the intelligence of rusty sheet metal.

Irony can also be sad.

General George Patton survived three wars only to die in a Jeep accident in Germany shortly after World War II ended. My grandfather survived North Africa, Sicily, Omaha Beach, the Battle of the Bulge and the crossing of the Rhine River, only to die forty years later in a farming accident. Carl, my grandfather's Army buddy, remarried my grandmother ten years later. He was killed in a farming accident as well, six years ago. (Funny: my grandma tells her doctor, "I've done killed two husbands." He looks at my mom in shock and mom just shakes her head.)

Irony can also produce anger along with solemn pride. I found this out last weekend. As I was riding the subway, I picked up a copy of the New York Daily News. The first page covered the flooding recovery and Obama's re-election, obvious topics that should have been covered last week. I flip to page two. There in bold print on the left hand side: "RACIST TWEETS FLOW OUT OF THE SOUTH." An entire article dedicated to pointing out the anonymous ramblings of internet rednecks and how much they hate Obama. The article cited some obscure website that compiled this information and of course, Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia were the main culprits. They even had a map of dots, outlining the locations within all 50 states where a "racist tweet" originated. First of all, I do not doubt that these tweets occurred. There are plenty of idiots out there (a small, small minority, mind you) and many of them appeared in non-Southern states. No mention of that, of course. Second, I find the use of the word "flow" to be in poor taste, considering the flooding that many just endured here. It made it sound like thousands upon thousands of Southerners were lining up behind their Iphones and desktops to reveal their inner Klansman. Third, for a liberal newspaper who obviously disagrees with such behavior, why empower these people by printing an article about them in the most populous city in the United States?

I believe the article was printed solely to cause angst and to achieve the "see, they are all a bunch of hicks" assurance to further disenfranchise Southerners. I stepped off the subway with a harsh attitude. I'm getting sick and tired of the divisiveness. Every time I step out of my door, I represent the people of Cassville and the state of Georgia. I take that seriously. White, black, male, female....regardless, I do my best to succeed with honor, obey the rules, help my fellow man, love my family and friends and do it all with a "how y'all doin?" attitude that has served me well. As I walked through Union Square, I noticed a familar sight. Row after row of shiny white Ford F-150's and F-250's parked all around the area. In fact, there were so many, you had to walk on the street to get around them. Security guards stood all around, making sure nobody messed with the trucks. Stamped on the side of each truck......."GEORGIA POWER" and "ALABAMA POWER." My chest filled with pride as I strode beside those trucks....looking at the plates....Coffee County, Polk County, Early County, Bibb County.....my people coming up here to do their part to help with hurricane relief. It was enough to put tears in my eyes. I sure as hell did not see an article about the Georgians "flowing" to New York and New Jersey to help out. I reckon the more things change, the more they stay the same. That's irony, y'all.

Speaking of Georgia, the Dawgs traveled to Auburn last weekend to play our final SEC regular season game and to drive the final nail in the coffin of Gene Chizik's career there. I could not help but feel good about this game beforehand because let's face it, Auburn has fallen to a whole new level of sorry and I love every dang second of it. I was not always this way. I, like many Dawg fans, will never forget the 2010 game and the antics of Cam Newton, Nick Fairley and Trooper Taylor. The dirty play. The outright thuggery that could have ended Aaron Murray's season and possibly his career. All the while, you see Chizik and Taylor celebrating on the sideline. I'm glad that Fairley and Newton are not doing so well in the NFL this season. I'm glad to see their failure. I detest the fact that Matthew Stafford calls Nick Fairley a "teammate." I wish Thomas Davis would ask for a trade so he wouldn't have to wear the same uniform as Newton. In fact, there's only a few things that I hate more than Auburn:

1) Car alarms in a parking deck
2) Running out of hot water in the shower
3) Al Qaeda
4) Pop Country
5) Jessie Spano (Yeah, i said it. She drove me nuts on Saved by the Bell. I'm glad she didn't get into Stansbury University)

The Pourhouse was full of Dawgs on this day, waiting for a bloodletting. It did not take long. After forcing a quick three-n-out, the Dawgs march right down their throats and Murray connects with Chris Conley for a score. He was dialed in all night and seemed really comfortable in the pocket. You see the Auburn crowd give up immediately. It was like a German walking into Paris in 1940 and saying "put your hands in the air" and the whole city fell apart. Their defense looked clueless out there. I must say that Van Gorder hire has been top notch for them, I mean seriously, they held Louisiana-Monroe to twenty eight points. If they got any better, they would be called Louisiana-Lafayette.

**Sidenote: Florida stole one from Lousiana-Lafayette on a lucky special teams play. At home. With a half full Swamp. If somebody yells out, "they are giving away free cannoli in Little Italy," it might get better...but I doubt it.

We kick it back to them and our defense just mauls them again. Auburn puts on a clinic of offensive futility. Air mailed screen passes. Sacks. Underthrown flag routes. Zero running game. Another punt and good ol' Rhett McGowan fair catches it. Rhett's from Calhoun and will always have my support. Honestly, we didn't need any punt returns. Murray does his best "I don't always throw touchdown passes, but when I do, I prefer to do it to Auburn" and we score with ease again. Malcolm Mitchell, Mr. Everything, with another touchdown on the year, making their secondary look foolish. (also making them look foolish....their names....Demetruce and T'Sharvan. C'mon.) Another kickoff and another brutal assault by our defense. Earlier this week, Chad Slade, one of Auburn's offensive linemen, made the remark that Jarvis Jones was not hard to block. Well, two sacks and two tackles for loss later, I guess that theory is out the window. Alec Ogletree went nuts once again, totaling 10 tackles and John Jenkins actually ate two Auburn players during the game. One of them was not Onterrio McCalebb, who has been on Auburn's team since 1976. (Also on Auburn's team for thirty years: Wes Byrum, the former kicker. I swear he was getting recruited while I was still drawing blue ducks on construction paper) (+1 for Billy Madison reference)

Tavarres King catches yet another touchdown. A beautiful throw to the corner by Murray and an amazing piece of footwork by King makes it 21-0. The TV cameras scan the Auburn crowd. I read their thoughts:

"Beer. Now."
"I hope my Toilet Bowl Cleansing test is cancelled on Monday."
"I need a hug...from my first cousin."
"(lost in thought, still trying to count to 21)"

More offensive (the adjective, not the verb) play by Auburn ensues. They actually never made it to the red zone once on Saturday. The one time they threatened, Shawn Williams lowered the boom on Emory Blake and he fumbled it away. Shawn Williams owns Emory Blake. He leveled him during Rambo's INT return last season, if you will recall. When Shawn Williams needs a beer, he gets one from Emory Blake's fridge. Christian Robinson also layeth the smacketh down upon Anthony Mason, who was also leveled by Quintavious Harrow on a kickoff last season. We have been doing a lot of leveling against Auburn and I love it.

Todd Gurley and Keith Marshall carved up their defense all night. Both had touchdown runs. Keith had a really nice one in the 3rd quarter, a 62 yarder that really made the crowd groan. He looked like Carl Lewis in the 1992 Barcelona Olympics, dusting T'Sharvan and Demetruce all the way to the goal line.  289 yards rushing on the evening for the Dawgs, I like the sound of that. Hell, even Marshall Morgan was 100% for the night. I guess the only way it could have improved was if Trooper Taylor had been on the sidelines to witness it. He was held out because, rumor has it, he is leaving Auburn and was trying to convince several Auburn recruits to go with him. Whats the old saying about rats and ships? Maybe it's rats and dumpster fires? In any event, it was awesome to watch the medieval beating and then watch them writhe in agony during the fourth quarter. If y'all didn't notice, the first string defense stayed in for most of the game. You don't think they wanted this shutout? That 2010 is not still in their minds? You dang right it is. Onward to Georgia Southern and Georgia Tech. The SEC East belongs to us. Whether we taste Sugar falling from the Sky or possibly something bigger, it has been nice to see our guys play with fire.

Other highlights:

1) Alabama goes down, courtesy of Johnny Football and an ill timed offsides penalty. In the post game, it was rumored that Nick Saban ate a pound of fence staples, drank a gallon of hand sanitizer and called a priest to issue Last Rites for the six walk-ons he killed.

2) Oregon racked up 3,465 yards of offense in their victory over California. (Auburn people: consult people from Georgia, Florida, Alabama or Tennessee to figure out how much that is)

3) The South Carolina legislature has declared November their statewide "whining and what if" month. I guess if conference championships were based on the amount of times you play "Sandstorm" a game, y'all would have it.

4) One more piece of irony for you on this Veterans Day: Years ago, the Atlanta Journal printed an article indicating that of the servicemen who participated in World War II, 33% of them hailed from the South. That is astounding considering that only 10% of the population lived in the South at the time. Now.....THAT is a flow I can believe in.

Recap of the Weekend: Stressful first quarters and Bruce Springsteen., two things I can live without.

Well, folks, life is returning to normal here in NYC. The subways are running and power is back on in most of the city. Sandy's impact was felt by millions of people, some more than others, across the Tri-State area. I must say that I applaud the efforts of Mayor Bloomberg, Governor Cuomo and Governor Christie during this week. For an area that was as unprepared for a hurricane as Georgia is for a blizzard, they did a wonderful job. New Yorkers and New Jersey folks are resilient people. The press has reported the recovery and cleanup pretty much 24/7 and the above mentioned men have held press conferences to keep us up to date. During one press conference with Governor Christie, a female reporter posed the question, "Governor, Bruce Springsteen says that he is very impressed with your efforts here and he thinks you have done a fantastic job helping New Jersey get back on its feet. How do you feel about that?" Governor Christie handled it well, made a joke about it, and moved on quickly. I'll sum up his comments, non-PC style:

"Ummmmmm, cool? Good GOD, woman! I couldn't care less what that liberal jackass thinks right now. The Atlantic City boardwalk is in the %^$^$ ocean!"

I thought it was a question posed in poor taste and it was yet another "sign of the apocalypse" in terms of moronic human behavior. Amidst the utter destruction that is the Jersey Shore, we still care about the thoughts and opinions of millionaires who live in another reality. I know Springsteen is from Jersey, but my goodness. Let's call Kim Kardashian and discuss the reopening of the subway. Get Angelina on the horn, I'd like to know her opinion about when New Jersey Transit should go back fulltime. Better yet, get Snooki, I'm sure she has some really intelligent thoughts on the engineering specifications of the new dikes that will need to be constructed after the flooding. Ugh. I'm going to stop talking now before I put my head through a window.

On a lighter note, the Rebels of Ole Miss rolled into Sanford this weekend, looking to extend their SEC win streak to 3 games. A couple of weeks ago, I opined that Ole Miss would give us a hard time and we would vastly underperform. After watching the first half, my summation appeared to be correct. Then, as if some awesomely incandescent light bulb came on, our offense went on the warpath and destroyed Ole Miss. Jekyll and Hyde University, that is the best description of the team this season. We bullrushed #2 Florida into 6 turnovers, made them look pedestrian, and ruined their season. We come out against Ole Miss, whose lone SEC victories include Auburn and Arkansas, and make them look like contenders for a half. I just don't get us sometimes, but I will take a 27-point win  any day of the week.

We kick off and Ole Miss does not attempt a return, even though Blake Sailors was the only UGA player in the screen when the returner caught the ball. "Awesome, they are scared," I thought. Three plays later they are on our 25 yard line, courtesy of blown coverage. So much for them being scared. Their quarterback, Bo Wallace, is a tough cookie. I think he has transferred about 47 times but he seems to have found a home in Oxford. No, really. This guy went to Arkansas State and East Mississippi Community College before joining the Rebellion. I think there may have been a stop at Devry in there somewhere too. Anyhow, he threads the needle on a long pass and they end up with a field goal. Not the beginning I was looking for, but I was glad to hold them to three.

**Side note: I watched the Florida-Missouri.....game? It was as entertaining as watching gravel in my old driveway. I could not help but notice the empty seats in the Swamp. I guess they were too busy repainting their red wood decks to show up. Florida did its best to give Missouri the game and just completely bury themselves. Too bad for Missouri that James Franklin is absolutely terrible. Seriously, that guy could not hit a double wide if he was an F5 tornado.

We get the ball and instantly go into what I like to call "Georgia Tech" mode. That's when you suck beyond belief, can do nothing right, and cause even the hardest of diehards to question why they watch the game. Murray is sacked twice and we go three and out. The defensive end from Ole Miss abuses John Theus with aplomb and Dallas Lee does his best "Ole!!!!!" impression and Murray pops up with that damn "deer in the headlights" look. Three and out. Throwing into double coverage. False starts. It looked like an 8 and under game, I fully expected to see Kenarious Gates drawing pictures in the grass with his cleats and ask to go to the bathroom in the middle of a play. Ole Miss gets the ball and scores a touchdown on a tackle-eligible trick play to make it 10-0. The CBS announcers start with the "uh oh" talk and they show Hugh Freeze on the sidelines going nuts. I calmly walk to my bar in the apartment, pour a glass of Johnnie Walker, and stew on my couch. The Pourhouse has no power, we are losing 10-0 and I see a bunch of Florida chatter on Facebook..."Go Rebs," "Dawgs goin down," and "Over-rated!" I logged on to Delta.com to analyze whether I could fly down to Athens and get there before the game ended. I was going to re-enact a scene I saw after we lost to LSU in 2009. A drunken fan, in his anger, confronted Mike Bobo walking out of the press box and said, "why can't we just f***** beat somebody?!?" He repeated himself over and over. Bobo screamed obscenities at the man and he was removed from the stadium by police. I honestly had the same question. I was prepared to ask it after the first quarter yesterday.

The second quarter saw one of the craziest minutes of football I have ever witnessed. In a scene reminiscent of "The Longest Yard," there were four turnovers in six plays. Keith Marshall fumbles and gives it to Ole Miss in our territory. Two plays later, Ole Miss fumbles and Damian Swann runs it back to their 30. Two plays later, Todd Gurley fumbles and Ole Miss recovers. Then, Bo Wallace throws a 50 yard bomb, unfortunately for him, his receiver was 60 yards downfield and Alec Ogletree intercepts. Despite this video game action, we manage two touchdowns in the quarter to take the lead.  Murray does his best David Greene, hides the ball on a fake handoff and finds a wide open Marlon Brown for six. Then, before the half, he hits Tavares King on a forty yarder that gives us a 14-10 lead. You feel the tide turning and the Rebs seemed spent going into the locker room.  Although I felt better, the lack of urgency from the team really disturbed me. These "coming out flat" games are getting old.

Well, if the first half was flat, then the second half was a beach ball inflated to the size of Pine Log, Georgia. Murray absolutely roasted their secondary. 384 yards and it could have been more if Richt had not backed off in the fourth quarter. Malcolm Mitchell scored on a pass with about 12 minutes to go in the 3rd quarter and you could watch Ole Miss literally start packing up on the sideline. By the time the quarter ended, Ole Miss was already in Cullman, Alabama in their minds. The defense clamped down hard and Wallace ran for his life. The little screen plays that worked in the first half were snuffed out. Alec Ogletree was all over the field. He had 11 tackles and caused a safety with about a minute to go in the 3rd. Jarvis was his usual disruptive self. Damian Swann gets better each week, that guy just seems to be in the right spot all the time. Ole Miss's defense, on the other hand, was the opposite of clamped down. They were a leaky O-ring that burst and their proverbial septic tank filled their backyard, the backhoe operator called in sick and they were downwind all weekend. Zander Ogletree, Alec's twin brother, scored his first career touchdown. He has filled in for Merrit Hall nicely. Rantavious Wooten, in a moment of clarity, actually caught a pass for a touchdown. Wooten has been synonymous with dropped passes. In fact, there are only a few things I am more sure of than a Wooten drop during a UGA game:

1) Keith Richards is going to light a cigarette one day and just disappear in a cloud of smoke and methadone resin. (this also applies to Ozzy Osborne, Dickie Betts and possibly Gregg Allman)

2) Jay Cutler will frown when his kid is born and say, "Damn, took you long enough."

3) The Falcons will lose a game and everybody will fall off the bandwagon so hard that Jim Cantore will show up in Atlanta to report the earthquake.

4) I WILL NOT watch Honey Boo Boo.

5) Georgia Tech will listen to "Call Me Maybe" and have a towel fight in the shower after practice this week.

In any event, we did extremely well in the second half and any Dawg fan would have to feel optimistic about our chances to return to Atlanta. We just have to get through Auburn, who is limping through a terrible season and will likely lose 137-0 to Alabama in a few weeks. Gene Chizik was actually seen scoping properties in Charlotte so he can be closer to Cam and ride his coattails some more. Cam is having a tough time these days, so riding his coattails might be harder with people like Patrick Willis battering him into submission every week. It warms the heart, it really does.

So, we move on to the Plains soon. We will be without Marlon Brown, who tore his ACL, thereby ending his UGA career. Thanks for the memories, Marlon. Personally, I hope we slap a giant nail in the coffin of the Auburn Tigers. I don't want Richt to let up. I don't want the game to get out of hand, I want it to get of the the stratosphere. They will be upset minded but if we come out clicking on all cylinders, I expect a beatdown. Plenty of recruits will be there and they need to see that Auburn is nothing more than Clemson with a lake and a fight song they stole from us. Go Dawgs!

Other highlights:

1) I attended the first professional sports event in Brooklyn, NY since the Dodgers left. It's not often you get to be part of history, but I was. I guess this is how Auburn feels right now, they are making history for so many people right now.

2) Alabama/LSU was the bloodbath that everyone expected. McCarron showed real poise in leading the Tide down the field in 1:30 to win the game in the most hostile stadium in college football. I always enjoy when the TV cameras pan the crowd in Baton Rouge, I swear I saw one guy eating a truck tire.

3) Kansas State and Oregon have an outside shot to play for the national championship. Could you imagine? "Let's go boys, dozens of people are ready to watch the game." (+1 for League of Their Own reference) Let's hope for the sake of fans everywhere that this does not happen. That would be like a World Series between Toronto and Cleveland, people would purposefully have to do laundry every night just so they wouldn't have to watch it.