Tuesday, July 16, 2013

"The System is Screwed Up" has replaced "E pluribus unum."

"The system is screwed up." - anonymous protester in NYC today.

How many times have we heard that statement in our lives? It is voiced from so many mouths, willy-nilly, about the state of.....well, I'm not sure. I have no idea to what "system" we are referring. The solar system? The digestive system? It seems to be the battle cry for the perpetually downtrodden members of our society. To them, we have been circling the bathtub drain since the Vietnam War. I am not saying they are wrong, but a blanket statement such as this does not deserve much merit. It is easy to blame a faceless adversary without the ability to respond to the accusation of being "screwed up." You wanna see the face of the "system?" Look in the mirror, pal.

I am the system. As an attorney,  I am an officer in the courts of Georgia and New York, by choice and by oath. I swore to God (whom I believe in wholeheartedly and if you do not, that is OK by me) that I would uphold the Constitution, perpetuate the truth and never seek to tilt the scales of justice unscrupulously. The "system" got me into this position in a way. I did not have a Senator for a grandfather, a massive trust fund, a MENSA level IQ or the ability to extort my way up the ladder. I jumped into the assembly line and kept chopping wood until I got here. There are hundreds of thousands just like me.

Being part of the system requires patience. Sometimes you must swallow the Robitussin-flavored serum of "that's the way it is." I once took a class in my third year of law school called Administrative Law. It was an elective that I took simply because there was nothing left to do, yet I needed three more hours to graduate. Who decided that I needed those three hours? It sure was not me. It was "taught" by a perpetually late slob of a professor who clearly could not argue the merits of a speeding ticket case without having a stress stroke. He did not take the time to create a syllabus, I guess that would be too demanding. He basically repeated the same lecture he had been repeating since 1982. This man was probably paid $140,000 per year to teach this garbage to third year law students, who could not care less about anything except the pending Bar Exam. Horrendous class for which, after doing the math, I paid $165 each time I attended. I wanted to sue the school for my that time of my life back. For the delay in the attainment of my ultimate goal, I paid this man $165 per class. I. Paid. Him.

Now, I owe the system an enormous debt. Not in the "hey man, I owe you one" type of debt. It's completely monetary with interest. I write a check each month to repay someone for educating me. If I do not, they will sue me, ruin my credit and I will be relegated to buying used cars and rent-to-own televisions for the rest of my life. How do I get the money to do so? The system. I work in it full bore. I quote prices to people each day and 75% of them react in the following ways:

1) "Good Lord, that is highway robbery!"
2  "You must enjoy being rich."
3) "If I had that kind of money, I would not be here."
4)" I should have been a lawyer."
5) "Call my momma."

The other 25% pay without much thought. Let's analyze the 5 reactions, shall we?

1) "Good Lord, that is highway robbery!" : Insinuating that I appeared with a ski mask and caused them to involuntarily relieve themselves of their monetary funds by use of force...even though they walked in my door first.

2) "You must enjoy being rich." : Rich is a relative term. My grandmother is rich. She lives in a state of happiness, has more friends than anyone I know and is going to Heaven on a bullet train when her time comes.

3) "If I had that kind of money, I would not be here." : Insinuating that being wealthy is the answer to all problems. Steve Jobs was not wealthy enough to beat cancer. JFK was not wealthy enough to dodge Lee Harvey's .30-06 round. Kanye West was not wealthy enough to tell Kim Kardashian to get lost before she ruins his career too. See?

4) "I should have been a lawyer." : Awesome reaction. You want to be part of group that owes massive loan debt, leads all professions in criminal activity, domestic violence, drug abuse, alcoholism, and stress related health problems? I can show you which dotted line to sign.

5) "Call my momma." : That is easy. Too sorry to pay your own bills.

I could quit. I could join another work force and become competition for someone else. I have a doctorate. I am young, driven, remotely attractive and willing to go to extra mile. I am great at interviewing, I have street smarts, I do not get nervous with large groups of people and I can talk about anything from ERA to the ASPCA. Yet, I stay in my niche and listen to people from other niches criticize my price list. They want to pay less than what I ask. They do not care about my loan statements on my kitchen table, that my landlord is going up 2% or that I want to buy the third season of "The League" on DVD. However, if I do not play ball, they will just go elsewhere and I am left with nothing. "The system is screwed up," I say to myself.

Here is the fun part. Court appearances for eight months. Sitting in a gallery of other people for three hours just to say "not guilty." Getting discovery from a prosecutor's assistant who is more in tune with her Avon catalog than another human being's fate. Leaving a hundred voice mails. Keeping an anxious client at bay, who threatens to hire another attorney when things go wrong or too slow and cannot understand why his retainer fee is used up. (cue the reactions above, once again) The plea deal offered was not satisfactory. Why?

"My cousin in Alabama got charged with the same thing and he only got two years of probation."

The discovery is terrible and not in our favor whatsoever. A trial ensues with a jury of his peers. The voir dire proves that the majority of Americans will sell their souls to the Devil to get out of jury duty. The remaining pool of people are just bored enough to be OK with making $50 a day. Client realizes the gravity of the situation and wants to plea. The state wants no part of the plea deal now, as it has wasted time and resources on the preparation of this trial. Trial comes and goes, client is found guilty and is sentenced much more harshly than the terms of the plea deal. Here it comes:

"Ineffective Assistance of Counsel."

That cannot be. I took Administrative Law! I passed the Bar Exam based on common laws that have not been used since the 1800's!

No sir. It's more like "Inassistance of Effective Counsel." I am a good lawyer. I know lots of good lawyers. We are all in the system. Those jurors, they are in the system. The clients, they are in the system too. You want an honest opinion from someone who sees this every day? Here goes:

The system everyone speaks of is not "screwed up," it's just populated with modern Americans and our faults. Our biggest faults: the lack of self-reliance, immense self-absorption and rampant apologism. When somebody fails, fingers point. When somebody does not get their way, they Google the best answer to their problem. When somebody disagrees with another, they both apologize until they have no thoughts of their own. That does not equate an effective way of life in a democracy. The framework is there, built on the backs of individuals of all colors, religions and creeds. We have weakened that foundation and now we have divided ourselves in a way not seen since the Civil War. I do not blame an Administration, a single person or a culture. I blame us all. We continue to exist despite each other, which leads me to believe that there is a greater good in this country somewhere.



About Me

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I'm good at people watching and the memorization of useless facts. I'm voracious eater, reader, Crossfitter and Dawg fan. Shamelessly devoted to the cause of making 9-5 not suck so bad.