Left Coast Musings from Yours Truly

Greetings from Wine Country! I'm currently surrounded by grapes, rolling hills, no humidity and some of the best food in the universe, so I've got that going for me, which is nice. (+1 for Caddyshack reference) People in Napa are extremely friendly and are really excited to have a Georgian in their midst. I've had more wine suggestions made to me than minutes Kris Humphries played last season in the NBA. (oh no he didn't!) I gnoshed on some barbeque at a place called The Bounty Hunter last night. It was excellent and I informed the cook that as a Southerner, I gave his ribs two thumbs up. It seemed to make his day. That was Dinner #2. I had Dinner #1 at a place called Horizons in Sausalito, California with some wonderful friends from Palo Alto. I had a cocktail called "The Sausalito Sling" and it was a tasty concoction that I enjoyed as I watched sailboat races going past Alcatraz Island across the Bay. It was fruity and non-masculine, but if I walked through life caring what other people thought, I'd be teaching typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Clubbo School for Women. (+1 for A Few Good Men reference)

I've spent the last 24 hours comparing Cassville and Napa. Needless to say, it's like comparing Bill Russell and Shaquille O'Neal, they have similarities but they would never be mistaken for each other. Take last night for example...here's a conversation I heard:

Wino #1: (with a glass of a Cab called "Ridge Runner" in hand) "We saw La Boheme at the theater in San Fran last week and it was excellent. Then we had dinner at French Laundry where we enjoyed the cous cous and mango salsa braised skirt steak. Unbelievable."

**Sidenote: "Ridge Runner" is an old nickname for Southerners, specifically the moonshine runners. It hit home. It really did. I almost stole a Trans Am and "got on it." I tried "Ridge Runner" and it was excellent, by the way.

Wino #2: "Oh yes, we are certainly going to see La Boheme. It's so inspiring."

See? That conversation would NOT have taken place at Cass Grocery. It would have been more like this...

Billy: "La what? Bo- heem? Hell, I think my brother got bit by one of them things in Vietnam."

Earl: "Yep. Mine too. His leg swelled up bigger than that new burrito down at Taco Bell. Y'all been down nair (there) yet? They only 99 cents and shooooey, they are goooood!"

Billy: "Mmmmmm-hmmmmm."

Those are the people I know and love.

Secondly, there would be no wine. At all. If we splurge, it's a PBR Tall Boy. Although I have noticed that PBR is making a comeback in the hipster neighborhoods in metropolitan areas. News flash! We've been downing PBR for years and we always knew it was good. Dad and I couldn't stock the shelves fast enough. A man named "Doc" used to come in the store and he would buy a case of PBR and four packs of Winstons EVERY SINGLE DAY. Doc weighed about 140 pounds soaking wet. I have no idea how that little man was able to drink so much, but he did. ("Doc" was doctor like Dr. Pepper was a doctor)

Lastly, and most importantly....there are no Waffle Houses here and Pepsi is more plentiful than Coca-Cola. There is something fundamentally wrong with this. It is my mission to infiltrate and immerse these Left Coast folks in the goodness that is scattered, smothered and covered hashbrowns. I mentioned it to one Napa native and he scoffed, "We have Burger King..." I looked to the sky and said, "Alright, Father, I'll ask him!" He ran. (+1 for Braveheart reference)

This adventure is far from over and so are the comparisons. I will keep y'all posted.