5 Realizations From This Week

1) It would have been cool to be a roadie for an 80's new wave band...maybe Duran Duran or The Human League. I could see myself now, in a skinny tie, acid washed Jordaches, black Chuck Taylors, and my coat sleeves rolled up with neon green sunglasses. Holding back all the coked out 80's chicks from ransacking the band's dressing room, saying "whoa, whoa, whoa" in my best fake British accent. Ahhhh, the 80's. Ships passing in the night.

2) Is it a rule that people with oversized diesel trucks MUST back into a parking space? It could be an empty lot with tumbleweed blowing across the horizon, it doesn't matter. It takes him 10 minutes to maneuver the jalopy into position, then he must sit there with the truck running for ten more minutes while he finishes his conversation on his Nextel. In this conversation, you must reference either a) something about construction; b) something about plumbing and/or irrigation; or c) somebody's "old lady" along with construction, irrigation or possibly hunting. Also, you must have a Browning sticker or a deer skull across the back windshield. None of these rules are negotiable. If you do not abide by these rules, then you lose your Nextel and are forced to drive a Honda Element.

3) The funniest book I've ever read is "Excuse Me, While I Kiss This Guy," a book about misheard song lyrics. They are called mondegreens and I highly suggest you get on Amazon and purchase this book.

 My personal favorites: "Hold me close, oh Tony Danza," (Tiny Dancer - Elton John) "Slow Motion Walter, Fire Engine Guy," (Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple) "She sees the hat rack, is she going to touch it?" (Invisible Touch - Phil Collins) and "Wake Up, I Might Sit On You." (Got My Mind Set on You - George Harrison).

4) I recently read an article criticizing George W. Bush for his non-reaction when he was informed about the Twin Towers on 9/11/01. If you recall, he visiting an elementary school in Florida when a White House aide whispered the news in W's ear. He showed no emotion and continued to listen to the story as if nothing happened. I'm curious to know what his critics would have him do at that point. Maybe this?

No, he pretty much went back to D.C. and did this....

5) So, Amy Winehouse died. It's apparently a global travesty and a shock, even though she admittedly binged like fiend and refused to go to rehab. I guess that was part of her appeal to some people. I have listened to some of her work and frankly, I am not impressed in the slightest. What is the big deal? She is being compared to Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison and that's where this music snob draws the line. Amy Winehouse did not define a generation. She is not transcendent. She does not have more hits than years on this Earth. One article I read asked the question, "What will the music world do now?"

        I can think of several questions that I would rather have answered than "what will the music world do without Amy Winehouse?"

        1) What is the square root of 8,743?
        2) How hard is a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick, really?
        3) Do my aviators make my face look small?
        4) Why is the speed limit only 55 MPH on I-285 between Riverside Drive and GA 400?
        5) When is the next "Buy 2 suits, get 7 free with 4 ties and 3 pairs of socks " sale at Jos. A. Bank?