Get Your Greek On : Fifteen Classics

            When I was in college from 1999-2003, I definitely experienced Athens nightlife to the fullest. While I was not out of control, I knew that my four years would fly by and I would soon be paying student loans and mortgages, so I never missed an opportunity for fun. Most of the bars and clubs that I frequented were very similar to one another, and I normally saw the same people as I navigated College Avenue and Broad Street in search of another night filled with possible crazy stories, maybe a fight or two and a couple of phone numbers of the fairer sex stored in my Nokia (which weighed about 2 pounds back then). The places I went were normally filled with Greeks, frat boys and girls in search of basically the same thing as I. Mixing beer and liquor with testosterone and girls meant that any one of those bars could produce all three of the aforementioned events in a manner of minutes. The next morning was spent trying to recall it all over a Wendy’s double stack with a large fry and a sweet tea for $3.18. You could always count on Wendy’s in Athens. There was one every 2 miles, with cheap, delicious burgers and terrible service. As long as those square shaped patties came out hot, I did not care that the waitstaff treated me and everyone else like a dog. Somebody’s gotta cook the fries, my 10^th grade English teacher used to say.

            Another thing you could count on in Athens was music. We are famous for garage rock or alt-rock. REM. The B-52’s. Drive By Truckers. People from all over come to Athens in search of the next great alt-rock band, which could be found at the 40 Watt Club more than likely. I honestly never set foot in the 40 Watt. I was not into the alt-rock scene at all. I noticed that many other Greeks shared the same sentiment, you didn’t see many of them leaving the 40 Watt at 3 AM after a riveting Neutral Milk Hotel show. I have nothing against alt-rock, but it is simply just not my cup of tea. The Greek bars never played that type of music either. The Greek bars in Athens played what the average white Southern, college aged kid wanted to hear. Classic rock with small doses of rap, hair ballads and country thrown into the mix. In fact, when I traveled to other college towns during football season, I noticed that their bars played the same music (with the exception of Nashville).  I realized that some songs are simply staples of college nightlife in the South. There are some songs that you will hear nearly every single time you go out, at any bar, and I bet that it still holds true today. Did this happen intentionally? No. Tradition and familiarity dictated that certain songs would push to the forefront of every bar’s playlist, where they remain, like the rocks of Stonehenge. So, without further delay, here are the fifteen staple songs (with descriptions) that dominated the auditory landscape of college bars back then.

1)      Back in Black by AC/DC: This song has an easy chorus, as it is only one line, conveniently the title of the song. So if you were a drunk freshman and had no clue what the words were to the rest of the song, you could croon these three words and fit right in. This causes many guys to reminisce on their high school football days as every single high school in Georgia apparently played this song as their intro.

2)      The Hurricane by Bob Dylan: This song moderates the normally right wing Greek crowd. It says, “yeah, we feel for the little man, the wronged, the forgotten and all that.” It’s fun to watch people try to sing along, as Bob Dylan is the only person who can sing every word to this one. Plus, Matthew McConaughey entered the Emporium to this song on “Dazed and Confused” with his Bob Marley shirt complete with cigarette pack rolled up in his sleeve. If you find something cooler than that, I’ll kiss your ass, which leads me to…..

3)      If That Ain’t Country by David Allen Coe: If you were in a Greek organization and did not know the words to this song, then you would be flogged with a water hose in the front yard. This song makes frat boys feel tough. The rich guys from the suburbs especially liked this one, it would often elicit discussion about their family’s “huntin land” down in south Georgia, complete with fake Southern twang followed by the lighting of a cigarette.

4)      Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison: Typically reserved for the end of the night, when the patronage is smashed out of their gourd. The progression: song plays, guy grabs girl, does a halfass swing dance with her, dips her when Van says “You myyyyyy _______eyed girl” and sings that final line right to her face. I added the blank because in order to be cool, you change the color according to the subject girl’s eye color. You dip her so you can get a closer look at her eyes right before you yell it in her face.

5)      Sweet Child Of Mine by Guns and Roses: The beginning riff will absolutely stir the masses to a frenzy. Lots of wide eyes, followed by “oooooohhhh shit!” and several drunken high fives. The chorus is another easy one, once again, conveniently it is the title over and over.

6)      Ramblin Man by The Allman Brothers Band: Chicks don’t really dig this song, but the guys love it. It’s just a good Southern rock staple that you often hear in the middle of the night between the hair ballads and the rap. This is a song that most guys can sing from beginning to end without screwing it up. You might see a little air guitar on this one and a couple of hats get turned around backwards.

7)      More Than a Feeling by Boston: You want some serious air guitar? Seriously, the mega popular sitcom Scrubs had an entire episode based on an airband comprised of the hospital staff and this song was their finale. That is all you will get with this one, as the words are impossible to sing. Chicks are not into this one either. Often played after 1 AM when the crowd needs a pick-me-up, they have been out since happy hour started at 4 PM anyway.

8)      Dixieland Delight by Alabama: When Napster was popular, I was forced to download this song and had to play it at every party because the female population would lead a full scale revolt if I did not. This is the sorority girl song of the decade. There is no contest. The boys from Fort Payne had no idea how big this one would get, but it’s huge in every bar in Athens.

9)      Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash: This song is big for one reason….it’s cool to like Johnny Cash. It does not have a great sound, poignant lyrics or virtuoso guitar playing. However, it is wildly popular among Greeks, as Johnny Cash represents outlaw behavior with little regard for the consequences, which seems to tie right into the crowd that enjoys him.

10)   Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: This song can be heard toward the end of the night. It will often result in some groups gathering up, arm-in arm, and swaying while belting out the chorus. It’s a good wind down song that brings people together for one last binge before the night ends.

11)   The Joker by The Steve Miller Band: If there was a song that I could say that I heard EVERY SINGLE time I went out, this would be it. Everybody likes to chime in on “Some people call me Maurice, woo woooooo.” In fact, the entire bar would go silent for a nanosecond so they could all do it in sync. Just like a herd of cattle or a school of fish.

12)   Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett: See Johnny Cash. Replace outlaw behavior with extreme alcohol and marijuana consumption.

13)   Rosa Parks by Outkast: A rap song that white boys and girls can sing without sounding completely ridiculous.

14)   Livin on A Prayer by Bon Jovi: This song has it all. Easy chorus, serious air guitar potential, the ability to cause large groups of people to get arm and arm and scream to the top of their lungs. If you graduated from UGA and did not know this song, then you never went outside your dorm room after 10 on a weekend.

15)  Just a Friend by Biz Markie: Before the Heineken commercial, this song was big. If you didn’t hear it at the bar, then it would certainly be requested at a house party. I have tried to figure out a way to dance to it, but this one’s actually more famous for the words. “I axed her her name, she said blah blah blah.” You cannot get better than that. It’s also funny to hear white people say it.